Sometimes, Ignore What Others Say
Do not pay attention to every word people say,
or you may hear your servant cursing you—
for you know in your heart
that many times you yourself have cursed others.
Ecclesiastes 7.21-22
The Book of Ecclesiastes is a meandering book of biblical wisdom. It lacks definitive tenets, but when read from beginning to end, provides an astounding perspective on living wisely for God. In the midst of its keen journey, resides the nugget quoted above. The advice is simple: Sometimes, ignore what others say. The reason for ignoring is equally simple: You, likewise, have spoken against others.
Question: Have you uttered something unkind about another person, something you would never say to the person directly? Have vocally lamented your spouse? Complained about your boss? Ridiculed your neighbor? Lambasted your friend’s decision? Of course, we all have.
Once, when serving as camp counselor, a camper began to complain about me … to me. Apparently, the ball cap covering my noticeable hair style disguised my appearance. I thought about defending myself or, even better, revealing myself, but then I realized the child just needed someone to express his frustrations. I became a non-judgmental listener. Listening, I realized, would benefit the camper more than a gotcha moment. (Admittedly, I relished the idea of sweeping off my hat, revealing my true identity, and reveling in his shocked face. Wow, what a story that would make!)
As for us, have we ever heard another’s complaints about us? Perhaps we overheard a conversation not meant for our ears. Or perhaps we saw a message never intended for our eyes. We might be tempted to expose the other person in an act of righteous retribution. How dare they say or write such things? And then, we might assuage ourselves with a bold assurance that we would never deign toward such interpersonal savagery. Sure, we might have those thoughts … but we would never reveal … About that time, the wisdom from Ecclesiastes 7.21-22 comes flowing to our minds: Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you—for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others. The passage reminds us that the only difference between us and our complainer is our more careful discretion, because we, too, have cursed others.
As for that camper, at the end of his diatribe, he finally recognized me. “You are him,” he sheepishly announced. Afterwards, we got along much better. I think my approach to his blunder allayed his concerns about me.
